<3

i’ve been on tumblr.

i shall not invest!

my dream has always been to build my own empire. as long as i live, i might not have the amusement park that i dream of..but as of today, i’m one step closer.

i’m one step closer to my very own character, like how mickey is to walt disney.

i’m one step closer to my very own empire.

i’m one step closer to my dream.

it’s my second visit to shakers this year. it was pretty interesting, with new songs and all. besides the fact that i thought shakers kinda shrunk a little, there’s no new update from when i last visited. the company was the same, the people i knew was as awesome as before.

maybe uploading pictures could save me some time from description, but i’d rather not touch that hassle.

camberwell market was awesome! can’t remember the last time i was there, chewing on a german sausage. but thank goodness i was wise enough not to get that today, or i’ll stay bloated the whole day. before lunch was fully digested, we proceeded to this korean restaurant called hangbukguan.  and tomorrow i’ll be in the city at noon time again, God bless my soul, weight and tigh.

i’m  feeling better and i’m still praying for protection. giving up something you’ve been holding on too for many many years is not easy. but i can do this. i will give myself 2 months to cry and i shall stand up strong again.

talking to my cousin, man she’s getting married!

congrats but it also make me realize that it will take me more than a decade to get used to the lifestyle in singapore again. especially when i’m going back to enter workforce, things would not be the same as when i was a secondary school student.

i was telling her about not getting a reply from NIE since i applied in february. she suggested that if i want to work with kids so badly, i should probably try pre-school. you know why? cos parents in singapore would pay about 1k a month for their children’s preschool education that is somehow branded! honestly that’s the craziest thing i’ve heard so far (besides mark telling me that NIE would want me to do a’level even if i have a uni cert). then i asked her if she’d really pay and register as early as birth so that her kid will get into a branded preschool. guess what she said?! SHE SAID MAYBE!!!!

the fact that she said ‘MAYBE’ really kinda scared me. i don’t think i’m suppose to be surprised, cos it was like a helluva big thing among my relatives when i ‘failed’ PSLE and got into the N.A stream.

she told me that she would not be as worried for primary school cos she was from MGS and her boyfriend was from Catholic. her child would definitely get in to either each cos they’re like the alumni for both schools. i could so imagine her registering her kid since birth just to get into a branded pre-school.

seriously,  i feel like i’m the odd one to think that all these were crazy. think about it, what do industries look at when you apply for jobs?? a branded pre-school certificate or your degree from monash?

another crazy idea i heard this week was that a friend of mine applied for some government auditing job in singapore and they actually ask you which primary school you went to. but nothing beats spending 1k a month of preschool and registering since birth.

all these might seem odd to me right now, but while i was talking to her, suddenly it all comes back to me. how ‘kiasu’ and singaporeans really be?? i think i might have gotten too used of the laid back lifestyle here in australia. if i ever get a richer or well-to-do husband and a relatively good paying job in future, it will all be by the grace of God. cos really, i’m so incompetent in every way.

i think even the fact that i’m in monash uni, its all the grace of God.

i should probably start investing more time and money into PL’s alumni starting from now.

我要做咯咯。

i’m glad some people can’t take sarcasm yet they don’t understand it as well. (i didn’t mean to be rude by the way, i just really hate it when people doubt me.)

me: i want to get a car, i’m going latrobe DS next semester and i need a form of transport.

aunt amelia: do you have a lisence?

me: yes

aunt amelia: you sure you can drive?

me: i’ve got an authentic australian lisence and it probably worth more than yours.

aunt amelia: haha. ok. get a big car and not the small ones cos big car can’t see you.

me: ok.

i wonder if she could tell that i was being rude on purpose. cos i was really mad at the ‘you sure you can drive?’ part. i realize i get really sensitive when people doubt me in one way or another.

fyi, i don’t hate her. in fact sometimes i’m really thankful that she has been there for my family for the past 6 years. <3

i think tumblr is another version of twitter where you can tweet longer stuffs. if this is fun enough, i shall abandon my public wordpress. it has been a while since i started fasting, and today i’ve made up my mind to commit sending dad a ‘blessing’ email every day. my dedication is 100% sincere, but God, you really have to work this out.

i’m not good with words, and if you put me in a debate team, i’ll be the loser who’ll fail my team horribly. on the other hand, he’s an atheist who studies religion, he knew more about the bible more than i do and debating is what he does best (except that he does it better in chinese). well, he knows the bible more than i do, but i know God more than he does. i guess that is the only plus point that i have for now.

my dad never surrender to anything to anybody, but i know that one day he’ll give it all to God smiling.

it is dad’s personal belief that intelligent and independent people does not need christianity in their lives because they are extremely certain of their own direction therefore they do not need any divine intervention. he is the most influential person in my life, that probably resulted in me being so disagreeable in some things about christianity. think about it, if dad is so influential in my life that he is actually able to influence things that i choose to disapprove or believe in, then no matter how gullible i’m, it probably cost ten miracle points to make me stand at where i’m standing now in my level of spirituality. not high enough, but it will get better as times pass by.

arguing with dad was all about not loosing in an argument about the faith that i appeared to strongly believe in. i guess it is all different now. its because i really really love my dad.

and it shatters God’s heart for just one unsaved person. dad is the most influential person i know, he’s a great salesman and he obviously have the best persuasive skills ever. imagine the number of people he could minister to for God. i just knew that my dad is more than special. i know God has a great plan not only to prosper him, and also to use him in the most unexpected ways ever.

i may not be intelligent enough to rebuke his knowledge filled self and debating enthusiasm, but my God is able.
i don’t know the bible enough to disapprove his weird philosophical logic, but my God wrote the bible. you only get an accurate review if you interpret the book according to what the author meant, not the number of times you read it, it’s what you understand from it.

i believe that if i live a Godly life, he’ll soon see why i’m so persistent to convince him on what i believe in. its not going to take long till i can savor chicken rice WITH chicken again.

Isaiah 54:17 No weapon formed against you shall prosper.
This verse will mean so much more to dad than it will ever mean to me.

Somehow there is this voice in me that sings:

Today is the day.

i can’t post pictures on my blog at all. i’ve been meaning to do this since i came back from japan, is it my internet or my computer???

i miss japan.
i do know that if you put me there as long as 1 year, i would be as sick of Japan like how i’m so sick of clayton. i just love travelling around the world and i really want to post pictures up. arghhh. every time i try to upload something, it will always be at 99%.

i want to travel.
i want my camera fixed.
i want to fix myself.
i love travelling.
i love rainbows. i want to collect pictures of rainbows from all over the world.
i love bunnies.
i want to visit the farm peter rabbit grew up in.

i hate rain. i want rainbows. i hate rain. i miss the rainbow necklace fab gave me when i was 16.

Give back $10,000 to dad. i think blessing him back with half of what he wants to give me is not even enough.
Traveling (JAPAN) – $3500
Graphic Design course – $5700

crap. i’m left with $800. i’ve also decided to pay my grad fees by myself. (technically is still dad’s money cos i didn’t earn it.)

maybe i should take back the $10,000. Then I can go for mission trip and get a cheap car to go my way round melby. and maybe i would have enough for a grad trip too.